


Let Me Go

by ashleyfanfic



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, This happens immediately after the battle in 8x05, This was a garbage episode, hopefully I can provide a little home before they're all crushed completely next week, this was a destructive arc for Jon and Dany
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 13:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18811948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleyfanfic/pseuds/ashleyfanfic
Summary: Dany comes to terms with what she did and makes the decision that is best for everyone involved.





	Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

> 8x05 broke my heart. But I'm doing my best to try and correct course for it. I don't know how else to cope unless I do. 
> 
> I hope you like this. Not betaed. First part is Jon's POV and the second is Dany's POV. I hope you like it.

The Unsullied stood guard outside the nearly destroyed throne room. Grey Worm was one of the first beside the door. He stepped in front of Jon, Davos, and Tyrion, not allowing any of them inside. “Only one,” he said looked at Jon. “Leave your weapons.”

 

Jon looked at Tyrion and Davos and unlaced his sword belt. His throat felt tight as he was permitted inside and the sight he saw caught him off guard. He expected her to be on the throne, looking like the queen she was. Instead, she was on the second step, sobbing. He could hear her from where he was and could see her body wracked with them. He took slow and careful steps toward her, and Drogon dropped into the room from the open ceiling. He didn’t growl at Jon, but cocked his head to the side and then looked at Dany, almost as if he was asking him to help her.

 

How could he? What could he do after she destroyed the city? She promised she would stand down after the bells, but she hadn’t. She and Drogon had set the city on fire, her Unsullied and Dothraki rode through the city hurting people. 

 

He knelt on the bottom step and touched her hand, trying to get her to recognize he was there. She barely turned her head, but it wasn’t toward him but away from him. “Go. Go away.”

 

“Dany...what-don’t turn from me.”

 

She wiped her face and shook her head as she kept her back to him. “I-I don’t know what happened,” she said softly. “I-I-I heard the-the bells. She was giving up. And I kept thinking about how she was going to get away with it all. How all these people who had run to her and fought for her were going to get away with it. She lied to us about sending troops, she killed my allies, she-she did all of these horrible things and she was going to surrender and...” she looked up at him then, her bright eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know what happened. I’m no better than her.”

 

Jon didn’t say anything because he couldn’t think of anything to say. “I’m...not fit to rule. I’ll take the Dothraki and the Unsullied back to Essos. I never should have come here,” she said as she stood and wobbled on her feet and his hand reached out to steady her. She took a minute to look at him, a deep frown on her face. “I-I’m so sorry. I’d take it back if I could. I want you to know that...those two weeks on that ship, sailing to the North, were the happiest of my entire life. I love you. I will never stop loving you,” she whispered as she walked away from him and to the doors outside. She said something to Grey Worm and he spoke in Valyrian and looked at her with a heavy brow. 

 

“What did you tell them?”

 

“Ready the ships to return to Essos.”

 

“You’re really going to leave?” he asked.

 

“I can’t stay,” she said as she looked out over the city, tears falling from her face. “Look what I did.”

 

He lowered his head. “I walked through it. I know.”

 

She didn’t look at him. “If you...ever get tired of the crown, I will accept you in Meereen. Please don’t tell anyone where I am. As long as I’m alive, people would see me as a threat. I don’t want to be. I only wanted to help people and...I’m worse than my father,” she said softly. “I know you don’t want the throne, but these people will need you. You’re the only one, Jon. It has to be you,” she said softly. They both turned to see the Unsullied and the Dothraki heading towards the docks. 

 

“And what do I say? When people ask me why?”

 

She looked up at him and frowned. “You tell them the truth. I went mad. I am mad. But I know I can’t rule. I know that I can’t be what they need. But you can.”

 

“I never wanted the throne.”

 

“No, you didn’t. But it’s yours, just the same. I gave Grey Worm orders that he should listen to you when it comes to evacuating my men from the city,” she said as she walked back into the throne room and to Drogon. 

 

Jon followed and watched her, confusion and anger still lacing through. “So, that’s it? You destroy the capital and you’re going to leave?”

 

She turned to look at him, a frown on her face. “Please, please understand. I can’t stay, Jon. I can’t. I can’t fix this because they won’t want me to fix it. Let me go. Just...let me go,” she whispered. “You don’t want me. The people don’t want me,” she said as she lowered her head. “I’m sure Tyrion would try to find some way to kill me. Please, just let me leave.”

 

“What if I need you to stay?”

 

“You don’t. You have Davos and Tyrion, your real family. They’ll all help you,” she said as she stepped toward him and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You will be the only thing I never regret,” she whispered and climbed onto Drogon. “See to it that the Unsullied and Dothraki are on the ships. You don’t want to fight them,” she said softly before Drogon flew into the sky.

 

He stood looking around the destroyed throne room. Davos, Grey Worm, Tyrion, and Arya all entered. “You let her leave?” Arya asked angrily.

 

“Giant dragon in the room helped the decision,” he said softly. 

 

“Where is she going?” Arya asked, furiously.

 

“It doesn’t matter?”

 

“It does matter!” Tyrion said adamantly. “She didn’t just conquer this city. She destroyed it.”   
  


“She won’t be here to see any more damage. She knows she was wrong.”

 

Arya frowned and shook her head. “You still love her. After all of that?”

 

Jon looked down at the floor and turned to his sister. “I do. Her last order was to put the Dothraki and Unsullied on ships and send them back to Essos. She left because she realizes she’s a danger. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone else.”

  
“And what if they want to hurt her?”

 

Jon eyed his sister. “Don’t.”

 

“You don’t get to say that to me after what I just witnessed.”

 

“I do. I get to say that to you. If you ever loved me as your brother, you will abandon any plans you have for retribution. You swore a vow to me in the Godswood and you kept it. Sansa did not. I need you to swear it to me, now. You are the only one I would trust to keep their word.”

 

Arya looked ready to hit him, but she snarled. “I promise. I won’t kill her. But this is the last promise I ever make for you and the last time you’ll ever see me.”

 

“Arya...”

 

“No. You made a choice. You now have to live with those consequences,” she said as she stormed from the throne room. 

 

Tyrion looked at Jon. “What are you going to do?”

 

“I don’t want to rule...”

  
“Jon...”

 

“I don’t want it. But I will do what I can to help restore order.” He looked at Grey Worm and frowned. “My sword.” Grey Worm handed it over and scowled. “She said she gave you an order to follow my command?”

 

“She said take ships to Essos and do as you say.”

 

“That’s what I want to happen. You don’t get on a ship until every last Dothraki and Unsullied have followed you. And then, I will tell you where your queen has gone.”

 

Grey Worm gave a slow nod and left the room. Davos and Tyrion looked around and then both sets of eyes landed on Jon. “Was she even remorseful?” Tyrion asked.

 

“In agony,” he said with a nod. “She realizes what she did and she hates it. She’s going where she can’t hurt people anymore.”

 

“We need to call a meeting of the great houses of Westeros. Have them meet here. In the meantime, find a way to feed the people, find houses for them,” he said softly. “Temporary shelters.”

 

Davos nodded. “Did she say why?”

 

“Does it matter why?”

 

“It does to me,” Tyrion answered. It will to them.”

 

Jon sighed. “All she lost. Something broke inside her. Madness took over. But she realizes that.”

 

“Where is she going?”

 

“Somewhere safe for her,” he said softly. “Maybe she can find some peace.”

 

*~*

 

Jorah Snow pulled his mother through the streets of Braavos to look at the pretty baubles. He was nearly five years old, full of energy and inquisitive nature. She usually only ventured to the markets once a month, looking for new books for her library. She was nearly unrecognizable with short dark hair, blending in like anyone else. As she looked at her son, she was grateful he had his father’s look. No one to mistake him for a Targaryen.

 

She bought him a new stuffed toy and they began their walk from the market back to their home on the outskirts of town. The Dothraki and Unsullied all knew where she was and some of them would routinely stop to check on her. Bring her things. She had sent Drogon off to live freely. She feared what would happen if someone knew he was there. She hoped he lived in the ruins of Old Valyria. Had set up a roost. 

 

As they approached the house with the red door, she could see a figure standing outside of it. From this distance, she couldn’t tell if it was Grey Worm or one of the other unsullied until he stood. She stopped walking and Jorah looked up at her in concern. Her breath caught in her throat, unsure how to react to seeing him waiting at her door. She took the walk slowly and nearly smiled to see a bit of grey in his beard and hair. If anything, it made him more dashing. 

 

But his eyes were firmly fixed on the little boy and she stepped in front of him. “What-what are you doing here?”

 

“I got a missive from Arya a few weeks ago. She told me she was in Braavos, exploring old territory when she told me she saw a woman with short dark hair that looked an awful lot like you and a little boy pulling you through the market. Wagered he was about five.”

 

“Four and a half,” Jorah corrected.

 

Jon looked at him again and she could see the pain on his face even as he gave him a smile. She hadn’t told him because it was what was best. She hated seeing the sadness in his eyes. “Can we talk in private?”

 

She nodded and looked at Jorah. “Go inside, sweetling, and play with your new stuffy,” she said and Jorah did as he was told. “If you’re going to berate me for not telling you about him, let’s keep that outside.” She folded her arms over her chest and looked at the ground. “H-How are things in Westeros?”

 

She could see him having a war within himself, and he finally settled on something to say. “They’re ruled by a council. Representatives from the major houses and the small folk pick their own leaders. Everyone gets equal say.”

 

She almost smiled to hear that, but she was still concerned about his comment regarding Arya and her having spotted her. “That’s good.”

 

“The Iron Throne was destroyed.” He glanced back at the house. “You told me you were going to Meereen.”

 

She nodded. “I did. At first. Then when the Unsullied got there after I realized I was pregnant, I had them escort me here. Grey Worm lives within the city, helping former slaves find new work for pay,” she said softly. “He said he would have liked to have gone to Naath, but thinking of...her was too painful.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me about him? Nothing for five years, excuse me, four and a half.”

 

She looked down at the ground. “Because I was afraid for him,” she whispered. “If someone found out he existed...it could be the end of his life. I don’t want him to take the throne. I don’t want him anywhere near ruling. I want him to grow up as a man who understands that love and loyalty are first. After that, nothing else matters.”

 

“What’s his name?”

 

She looked at her hands. “Jorah. Jorah Snow.”

 

He shook his head. “Why would you name him Snow?”

 

“Because when I fell in love with his father, that’s what I knew him as. Jon Snow was a man that loved me, showed that I could still love. And Jorah was conceived in love. Whether or not you feel that for me anymore is irrelevant.”

 

“You’ve kept my son from me,” he said as he stepped closer. 

 

She nodded. “I did. And I don’t regret that. You’ve been able to lead a life in Westeros. None of that will ever touch him.”

 

“You expect me to walk away, now?”

 

She nodded again. “Yes. Because I need you to. Jorah and I are happy, Jon. I found peace. I still...have horrendous nightmares about what I did, but I...I felt like I loved you enough to leave you alone. Let you find happiness.”

 

“What did you tell him about me?”

 

She smiled. “The truth. You’re the man that showed me what it meant to love. You are honorable, generous, and someone who cares about the well-being of other people. You’re a hero to him.”

 

“Does he think I’m dead?”   
  


“No. He knows you’re alive. But that your duty to the people was more important.”

 

He looked down at his hands. “I looked for you,” he whispered. “A few years after, once the council was put into place. I went to Meereen only to be told you left years before. How long after you arrived?”

 

“Once all the Unsullied and Dothraki were on land, I sent the Dothraki off and gave the Unsullied their freedom. A few followed me here. The Dothraki roam close to here. A few of them stop in to check on us.”

 

“So, it’s just that easy?”

 

She shook her head. “No. None of this has been easy,” she hissed. “I killed thousands of people. Hundreds of thousands. I live with those nightmares for the rest of my life. I know what I did. I do. It’s why I live here alone with my son. All I ever wanted was home, and I have it. If you’re here to kill me and take it away, then get on with it. Otherwise, I have to start dinner for Jorah.”

 

She walked past him and into the house, leaving the door cracked if he wanted to come in. He did, eventually. “Can you introduce us?”

 

She closed her eyes. “As Aegon Targaryen...”

 

“As Jon Snow,” he said softly. “I told you I never wanted it.”

 

She nodded sadly at him. “Jorah,” she called and the little boy came bounding down the steps. She swiped a hand over his face. “Sweet boy,” she said as she turned him to face Jon. “Jorah, this is Jon Snow.”

 

The little boy gasped and looked up at her. She had told him his name, let him know who his father was. “Are you...my Papa?”

 

Jon nodded and crouched down in front of the little boy. “I am. I’m sorry I’ve missed you.”

 

He shook his head. “Mama said you were putting the world back together.”

 

He nodded. “I was. It’s not complete, but it’s better than it was.”

 

Jorah held up his stuffed toy and she could see Jon smile at it being a wolf. “Mama got this for me at the market, today. I got the white one cause Mama said she knew a direwolf like this one.”   
  


He smiled and examined the wolf. “She did. It was my direwolf. His name was Ghost.”

 

“Ghost,” he said as he looked at the wolf and smiled. “That’s a good name. Are you staying for dinner?”

 

Jon looked up at Dany who shrugged. “We have more than enough if you’d like.”

 

He nodded. “Yes, I think I’d like that.”

 

“Show him your room, Jorah. I’ll call you when I’m through.”

 

Jorah talked to Jon incessantly as he pulled him behind him up the stairs. She tried to control her racing nerves, remind herself that Jon wouldn't hurt the little boy, but she knew that she had less worry for him when it came to Jon. Perhaps she should have told him. But she couldn't regret anything she did when it came to Jorah. Other things she lived with daily, but never where it concerned her son. And despite her love for Jon still lingering after all these years, she feared what would happen if he stayed. She knew just from laying eyes on him again that despite her great wishes, she could not put the love in her heart out. She heard Jorah laughing and she smiled as she went about preparing an evening meal. She could pretend, just for a little while, that Jon was there because he loved her, they were a family, and none of the horrible parts of their lives existed. Just for a while. 

 

*~*

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kid's name is Jorah Snow for several reasons. First, anonymity. She's hiding in obscurity for the betterment of her son. She gave him the last name Snow because that's who Jon was when she fell in love with him and Jorah was conceived. And Jorah because he was the last man in her life who was truly loyal to her.


End file.
